Yah know, life sucks sometimes....I just got dismissed from a volunteer job I was at. They freakin fired me from a VOLUNTEER JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOOSE A VOULUNTEER JOB?!

I was working there for a while and they finally got fed up with me leaving all the time and they said that I forgot to mention that i had moved. Fuck them then. I can't stand that they get pissed off at me for the littlest of things.


Things at the house are going better. That guy Evan and me are getting along okay. We decided to be friends only and I mean I'm okay with that. I still care about him but I can't do shit about how I feel.

I recently moved into a community residence and there's this guy that I really like....but the only problem is that he has a girlfriend.

Ok here's the deal. He had been broken up with his girlfriend and decided that he wanted to hook up with me, so he did. Then a few days after that, he got back together with her and broke my heart. Then he decides to continue to fuck me over and tell me that we could get together if his girlfriend wasn't a factor. So now I'm all fucked up and confused.

So I know I haven't posted in this journal in a long time and that's because I haven't had the time. SO remember me telling you guys about Daniel? Well we called it quits after 2 1/2 years.

:'(

I still love him and all but it just wasn't working anymore, I was starting to question my feelings for him and all and it just wasn't working. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow and see what happens in the future. IF we're meant to be then it will work out.

Why is it that the young ones are the ones who always die? I just found out that my good friend Rachey died. She was so young and vibrant. She was one of my best online friends and was always a pleasure to talk to. I don't know why god had to take her away from us all.

Rachey, you will always and forever be in my heart!

As some of you who know me know...I'm overweight. I have a huge problem with eating and self control. Well a friend of my dads introduced me to a product that helps with weight loss called Isagenix. It's a mineral based product that cleanses you from the inside out.

I was very skeptical at first about this stuff, because it sounded very much like slimfast. Well I started on Tuesday and I have to say that morning I had so much energy I didn't know what to do with it. I was shocked at how much better I felt on this stuff.

The regiment is kinda tough but it's worth it. You can get a 30 day supply and it comes with a shake mix, cleanse drink and some other things. You take one shake in the morning (only the shake though, nothing solid), have a regular lunch and a shake for dinner. It's amazing how full you will feel.

I had my shake this morning and at 12 today, I was not hungry at all. I am amazed that I'm not hungry because usually I'd be eating my lunch right now.

I'll keep you guys posted on my progress!

I am so pissed...people are cutting off my ciggarette supply and I don't really have many people who smoke around me....I really hate this!

MTV has decided to remake a classic film called Rocky Horror Picture show. I am totally against this because this movie is a cult classic. Please if you cherish this movie, go to www.stoptheremake.com and sign the petition.

So my boyfriend has been working at Home Depot for a while now but his schedule is so messed up that I can't really deal anymore. Like today, he's working from 1:30 to 10:30 PM and I can't deal with it. It's getting to the point where he's leaving school early because he's so tired. I'm really worried about him because I don't know if he can deal with this.

I don't wanna be the overbearing girlfriend who tries to control her boyfriend but I'm afraid that he's working too much and even though he's got bills...what's more important? School or bills? I say school because it's going to be his career that he's going to school for. Someone give me some advice?

So I decided to start a graphics journal with all the stuff that I've done in the past. Who knows I may just get some people asking me for stuff.

http://moonlightxnight.livejournal.com/

So that guy Daniel I was talking about before, well he's now officially my boyfriend. I can tell that I'm falling for him really fast and I'm happy about it. He's really sweet and treats me in a way that I've never been treated before. I can show you guys a picture of the guy he was trying to hook me up with that kinda creeps me out a bit.





He's nice and everything but he's kinda creepy in a way as you can see from the picture. And I like him, I really do but I think Daniel is the better choice for me.

Things are truly shitty for me right now. Even though I have a new job and I'm getting money things still are shitty. At work I made a friend and he came over on monday where we hung out till 10. But during the night we talked and I brought up alot about Dave and Jared (my two ex's) and I started to get depressed. Monday night things were fine but last night, I ended up cutting. Not large cuts but small ones along my arm, just enough to cause some pain. I didn't really want to cut but I saw no other option since I was alone in my room with nothing to do. I was crying and really upset over Dave because I miss him so much.

I can feel myself slipping back into depression and I don't want to go back there, at least not as deep as I was before. I'm still depressed but not as much as I used to be. I don't want to go back there again because it was a really dark place for me to be. But I don't see any other option and I have really no one to talk to about this. I can't talk to my parents because they won't understand and even though my friends say they are there for me they can never truly understand where I'm coming from. I think the only person who can truly understand where I'm coming from is my friend Daniel. He's the one I was talking to monday night and I told him just about everything. He knew without me telling him that I would die for Dave. That's why i believe I can tell him anything and he'll be there for me. I just don't want to become so depressed that I don't do anything. Someone help!

So I'm back in school and it's driving me nuts. I have a ton of homework to do and everything. All my old friends are there so that's good. I don't know if this is going to be my last year there but I hope not. I love all my friends and don't want to leave them. I'm taking two classes: Elementary Algebra and English 102. The english is pretty fun but Algebra is kinda hard for me. I don't know...

Anyway I have homework to do so I'll catch you all later!

Wow, I've been neglecting this live journal lately.

Not much has been going on in my life lately other than I've been working and making banners and icons. I'm going back to college soon though I'm not looking forward to that. I'm worried I'm going to make some bad choices again and screw up there. Hopefully I can keep myself on task and foucs on what I need to do. I'm nervous about seeing Adam again though since I haven't seen him since before we left school. I'm hoping that he's not still mad at me about what happened between the two of us.

Anyway, it's late, I'm tired and I need to get some sleep for work tomorrow.